shinydan: (Bisexuality)
shinydan ([personal profile] shinydan) wrote2010-09-01 04:47 pm

Things I Learned (Or Relearned) On My Holiday At Bicon 2010

1) Everybody's cute, everybody's cute - even me! But in purple, I'm stunning...

2) It's perfectly ok to go back to your room to eat or sleep as you need to. Or not.

3) Kissing, holding and caressing more lovely, sexy and wonderful people in the space of four days than I managed in my first two decades is fun and pleasurable for everyone involved.

4) If someone signs to confirm that they have read a binding code of conduct, this does not prove that they have done so in good faith, that they have properly read or understood it, or that they are going to consider themselves bound by it. This is not and cannot be the fault of anyone who has drawn up the code of conduct - it is the fault of the person or persons who decide that their privilege to act as they please is more important than everyone else's need to be respected.

5) There are people in this world who it is unwise to irritate. Do so at your own risk.

6) If you have offered to run a session at a convention about a specific topic, please make sure the session is actually about that topic. To do otherwise places you in danger of walkouts, derision (even from groups of delegates who are otherwise open-minded and tolerant of others) and in extreme circumstances, depending on how you react, may lead to you being removed from the conference by security.

7) Consent of any kind can be withdrawn at any time, for any reason, in any environment. This should be respected at all times and in all ways, for any reason, and in any environment. A request to put away a game of snap, a squeaky toy or a phallic turnip is just as important and valid as a request to stop in the middle of public or private sex or BDSM play. If you respect "stop", people are far likely to resort to "please go away now" or "fuck right off".

8) There are words that could be used to cause pain, offence and insult to each and every person on the planet. They are different words in each case, but they exist. Strive to avoid them, at conferences and in public life. Do not come crying to me if you suddenly find yourself socially excluded because you made someone else cry.

9) Despite all these issues, conferences in general and Bicon in particular, can still be a hugely positive, encouraging and wonderful experience. Please help, however you can, to make this more true, more often, for more people.

10) Doing new things with wonderful and interesting people can broaden the mind, among other things. If you broadened my mind this weekend, thank you, thank you, thank you.

But in purple, I'm stunning...

[identity profile] weegoddess.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 04:07 pm (UTC)(link)
::laughs uproariously::
::hearts you for that quote::

And did you eat some red fruit?

Re: But in purple, I'm stunning...

[identity profile] shinydan.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 04:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, and I told my minion it was ok to eat his as well. 8)

I was in a not-a-band called "Stunning In Purple" at one point...

Re: But in purple, I'm stunning...

[identity profile] weegoddess.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Fabulous! Maybe there should be a band named 'Boom Tomorrow'. Or 'Enlightened Self-Interest'.

Ah, the quotes abound.

*HUGS*

[identity profile] ejbigred.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish i could of been there this weekend. Partly cos i've not had a shiny dan hug in ages :( ! x

Re: *HUGS*

[identity profile] shinydan.livejournal.com 2010-09-02 12:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Will have to do something about that. Are you free to come over for a coffee/tea this week?

Re: *HUGS*

[identity profile] ejbigred.livejournal.com 2010-09-02 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I'll be free during the day tomorrow if you'll be about? *hugs*

Re: *HUGS*

[identity profile] shinydan.livejournal.com 2010-09-02 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Serpently - drop me a text or call me! 2 2 1 1 9 8 7 land pigeon banana spamremoval line!

[identity profile] jensolo.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I miss BiCon so much. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)

[personal profile] nitoda 2010-09-01 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
We missed you too - I gave Heidi a huge hug to bring back for you though. :-)

[identity profile] twizzle-eeyore.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
all good points, and I'm loling at number 6. I'm assuming you're referring to the catastrophic session on Sunday morning? *falls over laughing* that was one of my highlights of the weekend because of the bitching outside the room after walking out. And I generally, as a rule, don't bitch - and it's the first thing I've ever walked out of.

[identity profile] tartful-dodger.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
6 might also refer to the 'lighthearted' assertiveness workshop entitled Yes No Maybe which ended up as a scary, triggering experience for a lot of people and might have been better entitled 'how to get away with violating the boundaries of others while not actually breaking the law'. That one wasn't just offtopic, or boring, it upset a lot of people in a serious way.

Also. Yep, Dan looks awesome in purple. :)

[identity profile] twizzle-eeyore.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
eek! That sounds awful D: That was on my list of workshops I wanted to go to, but had 2 clashes with it and went to Bi Press instead. Reading that, I'm even more glad I did! That's such a shame it was so triggering for some people, that must have been so awful for them.

[identity profile] x-mass.livejournal.com 2010-09-02 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
could you tell me more about what happened - what did they say???

[identity profile] uberredfraggle.livejournal.com 2010-09-02 11:56 am (UTC)(link)
I didn't go on purpose knowing it would be too triggery for me.
ext_4085: me wearing a hat with kitty ears (Default)

[identity profile] xugglybug.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Who was escorted away by security...?

[identity profile] shinydan.livejournal.com 2010-09-01 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
No-one that I'm aware of.
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)

[personal profile] nitoda 2010-09-01 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Um - I believe you wanted to "talk shop with me" but we didn't get around to it ... you could email, or I have Skype if that is available to you?

[identity profile] shinydan.livejournal.com 2010-09-02 10:10 am (UTC)(link)
I do have Skype but it will take me a little while to find my headset. 8)
nitoda: sparkly running deer, one of which has exploded into stars (Default)

[personal profile] nitoda 2010-09-02 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
ok, when you want to Skype with me, send me your Skype name by email and I'll see what I can do. We can use it for IMing if you don't want to find your headset, in any case.