Apr. 19th, 2011

shinydan: Blue eye, perfectly round, hovering in mid-air. (Myopedia)
Let me begin by saying that I wish HRH Prince William of Wales KG FRS and Catherine Middleton, his intended, every joy and success in their married life together. Generally speaking, I feel that way about anyone who gets married, or civilled, in the UK (and speed the day when anyone can choose either) even if I don't know them very well, or at all. It's also terribly nice of the government to throw a Bank Holiday to celebrate their nuptials. Although quite a lot of people won't benefit from it by reason of being at work anyway. Or at work anyway at normal pay. Or by not working at all due to bad luck, illness or injury, or - heaven forfend! - having young children to look after without childcare.

But I'd like to know why I should care. I mean, what makes this particular young couple worthy of note? Kate Middleton seems a fairly unremarkable and attractive Art History student. Her fiance is an entirely different matter. Apparently, William of Wales is, in some way, better than we are, hence all the media flap. By right of birth, he has attained the kind of life that makes even the cosseted, warm existence of the likes of you and me - safe in the knowledge that we are unlikely to be forced to live on less than $2 a day - look positively spartan. He is, at the tender age of 28, a Knight of The Garter and a member of the Royal Society. This last sounds reasonable enough, until you learn that almost all the other members of the Royal Society are top-level scientists. Given that William's scientific prowess extends to a C in A-level biology, this is somewhat galling.

Mind you, it's one whole grade better than I managed. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't significantly jealous of the Prince. Given his affluence, it would be a rare duck who wasn't. And he's brave to boot. You wouldn't get me piloting a search and rescue helicopter over the coast of Devon, which is what he's planning to do once he finishes his training with No. 22 Squadron of the RAF. That's before you get into the work he's done in connection with his late mother's charities, and what he went through after she passed away. In the circumstances, I would be a bloody fool not to accept that, in many ways, William is a better person than I am. But none of that is directly down to his noble birth.

I'll even concede that I have a soft spot for many of the current royals. William, obviously, but also the Queen, Princess Anne and Zara Phillips. Yes, I like horse riding. I even quite like Sarah Ferguson. But I cannot abide the system that, here, in their United Kingdom, gives them priority over people like - well, everyone else. And if, as is looking increasingly likely, the right of those in the House of Lords to sit in places of unelected power is to be removed, then what price the monarchy after that? This unequal, illiberal relic of Britain's filthy imperial past should be put permanently to bed. Not in a cruel or nasty way, or for selfish reasons, but for the same reasons one puts a slightly unruly child to bed. Politely, kindly, but firmly, and without a fight.

Goodnight out there, whatever you are.

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